Confusion

I am confused.  I have needs but I don't know what they are.  Like the lyrics from the Foreigner song Double Vision, "my mind is racing but my body's in the lead", I have many thoughts but don't know what to do about them, so I just do what comes instinctively and I don't know why.

Kneading my caretakers (you know, pawing at them like I did with my mom when I was a kitten) soothes me, but I don't know why.  But after a good round of kneading, I feel somehow guilty and must compensate.  Looking out the windows makes me feel better when I'm feeling guilty, but I don't know why.  Birds and insects outside keep me amused, but I'm looking for more.

Paca is an inspiration to me because she really knows how to express her feelings.  I am learning much through Paca's teachings.